In the last four years I have developed sophisticated ways of telling humans what I want. One has to do that, because humans tend to miss the most important things around them. They for instance focus on one thing when the action is elsewhere.
So to make sure they do not miss what I want, I developed The Method. When humans are eating something delicious, I have a subtle way of letting them know I want to eat it too:
Something else I developed over time is a method for making sure I go with them when they leave the house. Usually I don’t mind being alone in the house, it gives me an opportunity to doze in the sun undisturbed. But sometimes I do very much want to go with M and P. So when they start putting their coats on, I do this. Now it is impossible to pass me, obviously, so they will have to take me with them:
With canines, of course, one does not need this kind of method. We sense what another dog wants and give it – or not. Although some dogs are amazingly incapable of sensing another dog’s intentions. With them there is only one approach to get the message through.
I can be a very polite dog. Very polite. Priorities, right? We dogs are good in immediately sorting out our priorities. I personally like to go on an Adventure, to go hiking for instance. That is a priority. Snoozing in the sun is another one. But my top priority is food.
So when P is eating a juicy sandwich, I wait politely for him to share it with me. Of course, he always does. Who can resist my hungry look? No one can!
I think I would have been a very successful stray dog, if I had stayed in Athens. I would seduce all these tourists to share their food with me. I am glad I didn’t stay, though. I like it here. Besides, Dutch sandwiches are the best.
I have written before how to manage rude dogs. Recently there was a picture taken of me, working according to this Method™, so I will share it with you. But first I will tell you about the very nice walk I had on the beach. I always like going to the beach and it gets even better when my friends are there. This time my personal trainer Nicoline was there, with her pack of dogs! They are my friends too; when I stay with Nicoline I see them a lot. This time the pack was quite small, usually she walks with ten or sometimes even fifteen dogs:
I like playing with almost all of them: running and chasing and boxing with each other. The big old German Shepherd in the middle thinks he is the boss of the group. I like to tease him. I run to him, bite him in the legs or his neck and run away very fast. He will chase me, but he is way too slow to catch up. So when I am at a safe distance I turn quickly and run towards him, as fast as I can. When I am almost bumping into him and he thinks he has me, I dodge aside so he misses me. It looks like this:
The funny thing is he knows I will do this, but still he waits for me and tries to get me when I am almost there. By the way, we don’t do this for a long time, usually after this running around we stop and start sniffing and searching for little crabs to eat. I tease him, he is not really angry with me. He just pretends, it is a game.
When I meet a dog I do not wholly trust, this is a very good Method™ to have some fun and in the same time avoid getting hurt. It only works when you are a very fast dog, mind you! Otherwise just make sure you are not in their way and do as I explained in this post.
I have not yet received a reply from mr. Cesar Millan on my note to him. He is a busy man of course, so I understand that. I will wait, we dogs have a lot of patience.
In the meantime I have been practicing a new special look. Because if he replies to me, I have to react in a fitting way. This is it, my special look of awe. What do you think, is it convincing enough?
I am probably telling you no secret that we dogs are a master in creating different looks. We go from totally obedient to acting as if we don’t hear what you are shouting at us in a split second. As I explained earlier in my blog about the Method™, every dog can use this acting talent to get what he/she wants.
There is one look I use for special needs only. If there is something you really want, try this. In this case, it was the herring on the table (which I got, of course!). You have to practice on this one, mind you! It is especially important you get the ears right. So try it in front of the mirror before you test it on your boss.
I had a wonderful weekend. We went to the beach every day, I chased seagulls and balls and I slept in the sun. And I had a splendid breakfast at the beachclub. I am not very picky when it comes to my breakfast, but I can tell you: this was top.
It was not just for me, I have to be honest about this. I had to share it with M and P, my other boss. I am living with M and P, did I mention this before? Anyway, the breakfast was smelling great and I thought it was for me, but one can never be sure (M likes food so much she sometimes forgets to share). So I used my Method™. I am very successful in this. And since I am a social dog, I will share it with you, for FREE. So you can benefit from it too, next time your human is eating something great.
This is the Method™:
Sometimes you have to do this for a long time before your human gets the idea, but dogs don’t mind. Humans have watches, dogs have time, right? I will summarize the Method™, so you can learn it by heart:
- Put your head on your human’s leg (when he/she is sitting, otherwise it won’t work);
- Give him/her your sweetest look. This look should tell him/her two things: you are the best boss in the world & I will die from hunger if you won’t give me what you are eating;
- Never give up.
Just try it, it always works.