Managing rude dogs

Everyone with a good looking, muscular body can tell you you have to maintain it. So do I. It takes a lot of training to get a body like this, I can tell you. We train every day. Usually, we start here:

Grassy walk

It is near a canal and has lots of lovely smells: mice living in the grass, dead fish that lie on the shore and duck shit. One day I even found a pile of little white buns!!! I had to be quick then, because I know from earlier experience that M does not want me to eat this. Of course I outwitted her and managed to eat at least three buns before she chased me away.

After our warming up at the canal, we go to the forest. This is it:

Forest also

It is pretty, hey? There are lots of dogs there, usually, to play with. There are some mean dogs too, which I avoid. Sometimes avoiding is better than fighting, you know. Especially if they are bigger than you. Managing mean dogs is very easy, I’ll tell you how to do it. When a mean dog approaches you (head low, staring at you, backhairs standing up, sometimes even growling already – all very nasty and unmannerly) you act as if there is something very interesting next to you. You stop, turn and start sniffing. This means you are not looking at the rude dog anymore, which always takes him by surprise. Then you walk on in an airy way, sniffing here and there, still not looking at the ill-mannered dog, until you are past him. Then you turn around, laugh him in the face and run as fast as you can.

By the way: this method only works when you are a fast dog. Otherwise just keep on walking and sniffing and ignoring the rude dog, until you don’t see him anymore. Then start gossiping and post his picture on Twitter. Or, better: enlist him and his boss in a Cesar Millan training. That will teach them!

When M is busy, we go home after our walk in the forest. Sometimes, when we have more time, we walk on to the beach. This is it:

Beach

It is great. I like it even more than the forest, because I can run really fast here. Sometimes there are little crabs for eating. Usually there are a lot of other dogs, so I can fetch their balls and invite them to play with me.

After two hours or so (I know, because M tells me) we go home. I get a nice little doggy snack, a big gulp of water and I can sleep for the rest of the afternoon. Life is good.

 

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Meet Boet

Some dogs can do it all. Guarding, hunting and digging holes. I am one of those dogs and so is Boet. Boet is my friend. When she was little, she looked almost as cute as I did:

Boet as a puppy

Now she is a bit older and her blue eyes turned brown, but she is still gorgeous:

Boet

Nice smile, hey? Her breed, the Frisian Stabij, originates from the north of The Netherlands and had to do everything: guarding and hunting. We both love to fetch balls and we both are clever and independent. Come to think of it: maybe she has royal roots, too. Of some ancient Frisian line? I’ll ask her, next time I see her.

Breakfast

I had a wonderful weekend. We went to the beach every day, I chased seagulls and balls and I slept in the sun. And I had a splendid breakfast at the beachclub. I am not very picky when it comes to my breakfast, but I can tell you: this was top.

Breakfast

It was not just for me, I have to be honest about this. I had to share it with M and P, my other boss. I am living with M and P, did I mention this before? Anyway, the breakfast was smelling great and I thought it was for me, but one can never be sure (M likes food so much she sometimes forgets to share). So I used my Method™. I am very successful in this. And since I am a social dog, I will share it with you, for FREE. So you can benefit from it too, next time your human is eating something great.

This is the Method™:

Method cropped.jpg

Sometimes you have to do this for a long time before your human gets the idea, but dogs don’t mind. Humans have watches, dogs have time, right? I will summarize the Method™, so you can learn it by heart:

  • Put your head on your human’s leg (when he/she is sitting, otherwise it won’t work);
  • Give him/her your sweetest look. This look should tell him/her two things: you are the best boss in the world & I will die from hunger if you won’t give me what you are eating;
  • Never give up.

Just try it, it always works.

 

Totems

I just received a very cool picture of me and my friends. It was made some time ago, by Nicoline, my personal trainer. You know, the Dutch Dog Whisperer I told you about earlier.

Friends

In this picture, you see my friends and Nicoline’s own dog, Fiesta. She is the shepherd dog on the left. Fiesta is no longer with us, at least, not in her old, physical form. Humans don’t seem to notice, but we dogs do – of course! Our senses are so much better. If your deceased dog was truly your friend, he or she is still with you, looking after you. If you weren’t good to your dog, he probably is with you too and causing you a lot of distress. In case you are wondering where the hell all this misery is coming from all of sudden – now you know why!

Fiesta was a grand dog and she really loved Nicoline. And vice versa. I think she will do some good things to Nicoline in the coming years. Like… making her win the biggest price in a contest (a living rabbit!) and having the sun shining when she goes out. Important things like that.

Me and Fiesta did not get along very well, I must admit. She was the alpha bitch of the pack. Of course I challenged her, I am not a very shy dog, you know. But she gave me a hard time. I did manage to sleep in her bed once, oh sweet victory. But my successes with her were, well, limited.

Anyway, I won’t challenge her now. Not anymore. You cannot challenge totems, in case you didn’t know.

 

 

Hunting

My boss really loves me. She did something awesome: she enlisted me in a hunting training! She did, because she suspects me to have hunting skills…. She watches all this Cesar Millan shows on television and he shows it works well to put dogs in their natural role. Like sheepherding or guarding. One evening she looked at me and said I might be a hunting dog. Ha! I could have told her a year ago I have hunting skills, because my predecessors were hunting dogs to the Greek nobility. I am sure about that.

So now we train every week, with a group of impressive other hunting dogs. M was first a bit reluctant, because she doesn’t like the idea of hunting. You know, killing other animals. I don’t understand this, because we eat meat. Meat is dead animals. It has to come from somewhere, doesn’t it? In my opinion, you’d better eat a rabbit that enjoyed a wild life in the fields than a poor chicken that has never seen daylight in her life, because she grew up in one of these awful chickenfactories (I know this, because M supports groups who are against this industry. If I get bored, I read their stuff, too. Mainly because they show pictures of tasty animals).

So far, the training is colossal. We search and run and bring back… pink dummies. Alas, we don’t chase animals. Not yet: they tell us that if we perform well, we will hunt real rabbits and ducks and partridges. My mouth is watering. I will really, really do my best to get to this next level!

This is a picture of me, concentrating during hunting training. I am wearing a cool hunting leash (which is matching the pink dummy – one has to be stylish, always):

Hunting training

Dogs on bikes

M loves biking. It was new to me, in Greece we don’t bike so much, but in Holland everyone does. Old people, kids… everybody cycles. They even take babies with them on their bike! And, so it turned out, dogs.

When I was a puppy, I fitted in a crate. Like this:

By the way, this is M. It was winter, as you can see, and very cold. I got used to traveling like this easily, because I am a courageous dog. Ha, you don’t scare me by putting me in a crate!

Then, as I grew taller and taller, M thought of another solution. So this is how she took me, when we were on holiday:

Blog Bubbles 7

As you can see, I was totally relaxed. This was about a year ago and I have grown since, but I still fit in this basket. If I fold my long legs, that is.

The best I saved for last. Because this is what I travel in in Holland. A real cargobike! I have lots of space in there, which sometimes I share with my friends. In this picture I am with Hester, who as a moviestar is posing for the photographer. Me myself, I am guarding the surroundings, in case another dog wants to get close to my cargobike. That, of course, I cannot allow.

B en H in cargobike

Pigeon

I notice there are a lot of blogs about food. Blogging about delicious things, what a great idea! So I will blog about all the tasty things I like, too. To start with: pigeon.

I would so love to eat a pigeon. They look big and juicy,  they should taste wonderful. The sad thing is, I never actually tasted one. We have tons of pigeons in our garden, but I am not allowed to hunt them. It has something to do with me ruining the garden – which I don’t get. In my opinion, the garden gets better when there are little and not-so-little extra paths between the plants.

Anyhow, I am still dreaming of hunting pigeon. In real life, this is how far I get:

Lovely pigeon

One day, I Will Succeed. And I’ll let you know all about it!