Everyone with a good looking, muscular body can tell you you have to maintain it. So do I. It takes a lot of training to get a body like this, I can tell you. We train every day. Usually, we start here:
It is near a canal and has lots of lovely smells: mice living in the grass, dead fish that lie on the shore and duck shit. One day I even found a pile of little white buns!!! I had to be quick then, because I know from earlier experience that M does not want me to eat this. Of course I outwitted her and managed to eat at least three buns before she chased me away.
After our warming up at the canal, we go to the forest. This is it:
It is pretty, hey? There are lots of dogs there, usually, to play with. There are some mean dogs too, which I avoid. Sometimes avoiding is better than fighting, you know. Especially if they are bigger than you. Managing mean dogs is very easy, I’ll tell you how to do it. When a mean dog approaches you (head low, staring at you, backhairs standing up, sometimes even growling already – all very nasty and unmannerly) you act as if there is something very interesting next to you. You stop, turn and start sniffing. This means you are not looking at the rude dog anymore, which always takes him by surprise. Then you walk on in an airy way, sniffing here and there, still not looking at the ill-mannered dog, until you are past him. Then you turn around, laugh him in the face and run as fast as you can.
By the way: this method only works when you are a fast dog. Otherwise just keep on walking and sniffing and ignoring the rude dog, until you don’t see him anymore. Then start gossiping and post his picture on Twitter. Or, better: enlist him and his boss in a Cesar Millan training. That will teach them!
When M is busy, we go home after our walk in the forest. Sometimes, when we have more time, we walk on to the beach. This is it:
It is great. I like it even more than the forest, because I can run really fast here. Sometimes there are little crabs for eating. Usually there are a lot of other dogs, so I can fetch their balls and invite them to play with me.
After two hours or so (I know, because M tells me) we go home. I get a nice little doggy snack, a big gulp of water and I can sleep for the rest of the afternoon. Life is good.